The Twisted Tale of the Tomb Raider

* Lara does her usual thing, solving puzzles and dodging traps*

Lara (thought): This is it...I can get hold of the Dream Stone and...

*She looks up to see a blond woman in a tight black suit carrying the shining gem*

Lara: Oh you have got to be kidding me!

*Hera grins*

Hera: Ah Lady Croft...you're just in time...

Lara: put the dream stone down hera

* Hera laughs*

Hera: You really think pointing guns at me can threaten me now? How delightfully naive.

* Lara scowls*

Lara: You don't understand. The power you are messing with...

*Hera blasts Lara with magical energy*

Lara: AAAGH!

Hera: Oh I perfectly understand Lara. You see, I've done my homework on you and all the trinkets you've
picked up over the years. It doesn't take a genius to know that over time the magical energy has
been absorbed into your body.

* Lara flops down to the ground*

Hera: With this, I can create a pocket dimension that will trap you, while I extract all the power from you!

Lara: you...you wont...ugh *she passes out, vanishing into a small sphere of light*

* Lara emerges in a creepy wood*

Hera (narrating): Once upon a time in a scary, scary wood...

Lara: where the heck?

Hera (narrating): There was a clumsy girl named Lara Croft...

*Lara trips over*

Lara: WHOA!

Lara: i..i can barely walk straight

* Lara looks round nervously as she hears a wolf howl*

Lara: That can't be good.

Lara tries to run

*She trips over a stick*

Lara: WHOA!

*the howls get closer*

*Lara turns round to grab a basket*

Lara (thought): Oh crap.

Lara: gotta get to grandmas

* Lara crawls to get away *

Lara: *struggles to stand and run*

* As Lara gets away, she realises she's lost the path*

Lara (thought): Wait...this isn't the way to Grandma's house...

*She looks up and sees several different paths*

Lara (thought): This all seems familiar. But then I have no knowledge of exploring that could help me...

BACK IN REALITY...

*Hera grins as she glows yellow*

Hera (thought): Yes, it's working!

Hera: who can possibly stop me now

ELSEWHERE...

*Vibes clutches her head*

Vibes (thought): Dagnabbit! You nap once during dinner time...

Van: whats wrong now?

* Vibes sighs*

Vibes: Getting some very weird mental imagery.

Van: from where?

*Vibes looks baffled*

Vibes: Okay we went from Lara Croft in her tomb for some weirdly narrated fairy tale mashup.

Van: then time to go to england.

*Vibes grins*

Van: We are not stopping off at the chip shop.